The Hornbeam Tree Page 19

  ‘Hornbeam?’ Laurie echoed.

  ‘Ah yes, my secret weapon, it has magical powers in times of stress, so you might want to take some with you when you leave here later.’

  ‘I’ll take as much as you can spare,’ Laurie responded dryly.

  ‘Am I missing something?’ Michelle said, as Katie laughed.

  ‘She’s trying to change the subject,’ Laurie answered, ‘so she’s no longer the focus. Now come on, stop trying to pretend you’re a retiring violet, because no-one’s convinced, and tell us about you. What is it really like to be Katie Kiernan these days? Who is she? What’s driving her? How does she want to be remembered? When will she ever tell us the real truth about her?’

  Katie looked at Michelle. ‘Could that qualify as bullying?’ she demanded.

  Michelle nodded. ‘Absolutely. So how does it feel to be on the receiving end?’

  Katie’s eyes narrowed. ‘You’re in a conspiracy, you two,’ she declared. ‘And you’re rushing me.’

  ‘Well, if you will wait till you’re moving out before you invite us in, we don’t have much choice,’ Michelle responded.

  Katie’s eyes lit up. ‘That’s good,’ she told her. ‘I like it.’ And in order to savour it, she repeated it.

  Laurie watched her familiar, animated face, and found herself caught for a moment in a strange displacement of time, as though she were looking at a photograph, and this was all a memory. It was a disturbing, upsetting feeling, for though she’d never been in any doubt that losing Katie would be extremely hard to bear, it was as though the fact that it really was going to happen was only just hitting her.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Katie asked.

  ‘Yes, yes I’m fine,’ Laurie assured her, smiling again. ‘Just a bug, or something,’ she added, blinking her eyes.

  ‘She’s been up half the night making the beast with two backs,’ Katie informed Michelle. ‘What?’ she demanded as Laurie and Michelle spluttered with laughter.

  ‘The beast with two backs?’ Michelle repeated.

  Katie sighed. ‘That’s the trouble with you airheads, you just don’t know your Shakespeare,’ she complained.

  Laurie was still laughing. ‘Please say you’ll do this programme, Katie,’ she implored. ‘Please, please.’

  ‘You’ll have to talk to my manager,’ Katie responded haughtily as they started walking on towards the woods. ‘She’s right beside you. I don’t do anything without her approval these days. She’s got me all carefully managed and mapped out, so that I’m scared of moving without her.’

  ‘Did you ever hear such nonsense?’ Michelle demanded. ‘Can you imagine anyone ever managing her? You’d have to get yourself a lion-taming degree to begin with, not to mention a flak-proof jacket, gold-star health coverage, and regular top-up courses in emergency first aid for the soul.’

  ‘That’s the old me,’ Katie retorted. ‘The new me doesn’t do soul-bashing any more, unless it happens to be of the neo-con variety. I’d happily churn that around the axis of evil a few times to get it to change its foreign policies, and turn our gorgeous little planet into a dandy old place to be. Of course, if you’re me, with an expiring membership, it seems pretty dandy already, but I’m thinking ahead now, and trying not to be selfish. Oh Laurie, there goes your phone.’

  Laurie’s heart had already gone into free fall. ‘Sorry, I should have turned it off,’ she said, taking it out of her pocket. Seeing who it was, her nerves churned up all over again. ‘It’s Elliot,’ she told them. ‘I’ll let it go through to messages and pick it up later. Have you spoken to him this morning?’ she asked Michelle.

  Michelle shook her head. ‘Just an email saying Sajid’s passed the money on to Farukh, who wants me to know that Tom’s very much alive and itching to get out of there. But before we become sidetracked again, I’ll hand back to you, oh gracious Wonder Wit in white slacks and wonky wig.’

  Katie’s hands flew to her head.

  Laurie burst out laughing.

  ‘You’ve got a nasty little streak in you,’ Katie told Michelle.

  Michelle grinned and walked on along the footpath towards Bell Wood.

  ‘Molly and I used to come here a lot, when we first moved in,’ Katie told Laurie as they followed. ‘We’d talk about all our dreams, the adventures we’d have, the crazy things we wanted to be, then go home, write them down and pop them into our dream box.’

  ‘What a lovely idea,’ Laurie commented.

  ‘What were yours?’ Michelle asked.

  Katie smiled. ‘Actually, I never used to tell Molly the truth, because I didn’t want her to feel that I’d missed out on something because of her, or that she was standing in my way, but my big dream, my real-life ambition, was always to be an investigative reporter. I was already off to a good start before Molly was born, but when she came along, and then her father ditched us for a roulette wheel … Well, babies and in-depth research don’t make for happy bedfellows, so one had to go. I’m not complaining, please don’t think that, I’ve loved writing my column and being involved in all the perks and spins-offs that came from it. I’m just saying my real dream never actually made it to the box.’

  ‘So what did?’ Laurie prompted.

  Katie thought for a moment. ‘I think I said I wanted to be a lap dancer, or something like that,’ she confessed.

  ‘What kind of mother is she?’ Michelle demanded with a laugh.

  Katie was grinning. ‘I also dreamt about being an explorer in India, and a Nobel prizewinner … Oh, I had one where I wanted to dance at a Viennese ball.’

  ‘You always wanted to do that,’ Michelle reminded her. ‘We used to watch them on TV when we were teenagers and imagine ourselves there in those flowing white dresses and tiaras, gliding about in the arms of some dashingly handsome young stud.’

  ‘Corny, but still very appealing,’ Katie responded. ‘I don’t suppose I’ll ever get to one now though. Anyway, hopes and dreams are probably a good area to get into, if we do make the programme,’ she said to Laurie.

  Laurie nodded agreement. ‘So talk to me about hope,’ she said. ‘How does it fit in with everything now?’

  Katie didn’t have to think for long. ‘Hope,’ she said, ‘is a man. One minute it’s there, making you feel all cosy and safe, the next you don’t know where the heck it’s gone. Of course, it’s off with someone else, making them feel all secure and upbeat while you plunge around in the depths of despair, until it suddenly swoops back in again to give you another little perk-up. For two pins I’d give it up altogether, chuck it out on its ear and tell it to go turn someone else into a basket case, but just as I get to the point of doing it, I’m suddenly being seduced all over again into believing I can beat all the odds and win. No, he’s a dreadful rogue is hope, uncrushable, untamable and totally irresistible.’

  Laurie hadn’t missed the key admission that was wrapped up in all the playfulness, so steering her gently back in that direction, she said, ‘So there are times you believe you can conquer this?’

  ‘Of course,’ Katie admitted. ‘I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t, and miracles do happen, so why not for me? I just try to keep a fix on reality too, because no matter how hard I try to rise above it, the fact is, I do have a disease that isn’t responding to treatment, and when it stops doing that, it’s time to make sure your insurance is paid up.’

  ‘So what do you say to those who read, and write, the self-help books on how to achieve your own miracle healing, or how to put positive thinking into action?’

  ‘I say keep writing and keep reading, because they do so much good. Those books are a miracle in themselves, and if I hadn’t read any of them I’d be in a far worse state than I am now, that’s for sure.’

  ‘And alternative medicine?’

  ‘Give anything a go. At this stage, you don’t have anything to lose, so why not?’

  ‘Have you tried it?’

  ‘Of course, and I’ll probably keep on trying, because the point is never to stop
exploring, and never to give up hope. See, there he is back again, and I didn’t even hear him knock. Actually, I think it’s a part of the conspiracy you two have got going, to keep inviting him in when I’m not looking, and he seems to be hanging around a lot longer while you’re here, so watch out, or he’ll start convincing you I can beat this …’

  ‘I don’t need any convincing,’ Michelle cut in.

  ‘Me neither,’ Laurie added, having to swallow another yawn.

  ‘Careful,’ Katie cautioned. ‘He’s obviously getting to you already, so make sure you keep him at a distance, or it’ll all end in tears when he just dumps you and walks out the door.’ She put on a bright smile and planting her hands on her hips, said to Laurie, ‘OK, I’ve had enough of all this for today. I want to know about you now, because I believe you’re in need of some pastoral care and Michelle and I are just the people to give it. Are we not, Michelle?’

  Michelle blinked. ‘Oh, absolutely,’ she agreed.

  ‘So let’s assume that you were with Nick van Zant last night?’

  Deciding just to go with it now, Laurie nodded.

  ‘And that Elliot doesn’t know anything about it?’

  Laurie shuddered and shook her head.

  ‘And that you’re now avoiding Elliot and … What? Where’s Nick actually fitting into this picture?’

  Laurie swallowed and sighed in confusion. ‘I only wish I knew,’ she answered. ‘It’s hard to base anything on one night …’

  ‘But you were seeing him before.’

  ‘It’s different now though. I’m not quite sure why, or how, it just is. Or it felt that way last night. In some ways it’s like I’ve lost all reason, because even now, as I’m standing here talking to you, a part of me is willing him to call, or send me a text, or be in touch somehow to let me know that he’ll come back to the hotel tonight. Or I’ll go to him. Whatever, as long as I see him.’

  Katie glanced at Michelle. ‘Does he feel the same?’ she asked.

  ‘I think so. I don’t know. We haven’t discussed anything, there’s hardly been time, and anyway, I don’t have the first idea what I want from this. All I know is I can barely keep my hands off him. Even over breakfast in the pub lounge this morning, I was saying to myself, if he wanted to take me right here, in the middle of the room, I’d let him.’

  Katie’s eyes opened wide. ‘My, that would pull in the tourists,’ she remarked.

  Laurie erupted in laughter.

  ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t jest,’ Katie said, ‘because it’s obviously serious, and if it goes on like this it’s likely to cause you a lot of heartache. So, Michelle, what should she do?’

  Michelle turned to stare at her. ‘Why didn’t I see that coming?’ she demanded.

  ‘I can’t imagine.’

  Michelle slanted her a look, and turned to Laurie. ‘Do you think,’ she said, ‘that on some level, this could be more about punishing Elliot than actually being in the throes of an infatuation with someone else?’

  Laurie frowned and Katie looked impressed. ‘To me the two seem quite separate,’ Laurie answered, ‘though obviously I can understand why they seem linked to you.’

  ‘That’s because you’re right in the middle of it,’ Katie chipped in, ‘so it’s not possible for you to be objective.’

  ‘Does that mean you agree with Michelle, that it’s all about punishing Elliot?’

  Katie nodded. ‘I think it’s highly probable,’ she answered.

  ‘A part of you must still be extremely angry over what he did,’ Michelle said, ‘particularly if it only happened a couple of months ago. Can you honestly say you’ve forgiven him?’

  Laurie stared at her, but it didn’t take her long to shake her head. ‘I know I haven’t,’ she admitted. ‘I want to, because I know I still love him, and in truth I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but it’s a question of trust, and the fear that he’d ever do something like that again.’

  ‘Is this other woman completely off the scene now?’ Katie asked.

  ‘So he says.’

  ‘But you don’t believe it?’

  ‘Sometimes, but then I start wondering what he’d do if she suddenly decided she wanted him back again.’

  Katie frowned. ‘I thought he ended the relationship.’

  ‘So he tells me, but I keep asking myself, why would he give up someone like that? She’s got to be the sexiest woman on the planet …’

  ‘Perhaps because he came to his senses and realized he was still in love with you?’ Katie suggested.

  Laurie looked sceptical.

  ‘Well, I can’t imagine any other reason,’ Michelle said.

  ‘But the damage has been done,’ Laurie pointed out. ‘There’s no going back now. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen, and I just don’t know how we’re going to build a life together with something like that at the foundation.’

  Katie was looking thoughtful as she leaned against a tree and folded her arms. ‘Let’s go back to Nick for a minute,’ she said. ‘Do you think it’s just lust you’re feeling, or could it be something deeper?’

  Laurie’s eyes closed as a shudder of nerves went through her. ‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘He would be a very easy man to love, and to live with, whereas Elliot probably has to be one of the most difficult. But that’s a part of his attraction, a very large part in fact, because he’s always a challenge and God knows, life is never dull with him, even if it can be painful at times. But it wouldn’t be dull with Nick either … Oh God, I just don’t know. I’m very confused and if I could, I’d give them both up and go and join the VSO where I might actually …’

  ‘… meet Tom Chambers, another Titan of world reporting,’ Katie picked up. ‘Now that would be a really interesting development, wouldn’t it?’ she declared, cocking her head thoughtfully to one side.

  ‘Only you would think so,’ Michelle responded dryly.

  As all three of them laughed, they turned to stroll on through the sun-dappled glades, absorbing the nostalgic scent of fresh earth and bitter grasses mingling with the faintly intrusive pong of farmyard spread.

  ‘Well, this is clearly going to take some sorting out,’ Katie stated, as they began circling round to take the path home. ‘So a full and interesting time ahead, I would say, what with Laurie and her two men, Michelle and her crazy one, and me with my hormones. In fact, all we need now is Molly to fall in love and things could start seriously hotting up around here.’

  Chapter Ten

  MOLLY’S FACE WAS pinched and pale, her temper ready to fly as she surged ahead of the crowd, out of the school building, and across the yard. The instant she was past the gates she switched on her mobile, and watched with pained, anxious eyes as it spurted into life.

  No messages, no texts, no missed calls.

  She was starting to panic. There must be something wrong with her phone, because Brad had promised to ring. So why hadn’t he? What had she done wrong?

  ‘Hey, Molly!’

  She turned abruptly away. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, she only wanted to cry, or call Brad to find out why he hadn’t texted her when he’d said he would. Everyone knew she was waiting, which was her own stupid fault for telling them about him in the first place, and now she wanted to smash their ugly faces for staring at her and snickering and bitching behind her back the way they were.

  ‘Get lost,’ she raged as Rank Rusty came up to her.

  ‘I thought you needed some help with your homework,’ he said, turning beetroot.

  ‘Well I don’t. Now just fuck off!’ she shouted, and stuffing her mobile back in her bag she started to run for the bus.

  She sat on her own, but Kylie and Greta were only a few rows back, talking loud enough for her to hear, and make everyone else laugh.

  ‘Oh Brad, Brad, I love you,’ Kylie was chanting.

  ‘I love you too,’ Greta smooched, pretending to be Brad.

  ‘Kiss me, darling. Oh kiss me.’

  ‘What’s the
matter Molly?’ Kylie shouted. ‘You’re not crying are you, because he didn’t call?’

  ‘Why don’t you just leave her alone!’ Rank Rusty shouted.

  ‘I don’t need you sticking up for me,’ Molly raged, as everyone jeered and booed and told her Rank Rusty was all she could get. ‘And actually, if you must know,’ she snarled, eyes flashing with fury, ‘he did call, and we’re going to instant-message tonight.’

  ‘Oh yeah!’ Kylie sneered. ‘Like we really believe you.’

  Too close to tears to take it any further, Molly turned round again and stared out of the window. She hated this school and everyone in it, and she hated the stupid policewoman who’d come and lectured her today about giving out her email to people in chat rooms, and she hated the headmaster for telling the police in the first place, and she hated the whole wide world, because it was just a horrible, mean and stupid place to be, where everyone always let you down, and nothing ever went right, especially not for her.

  By the time the bus finally lumbered to a stop next to the war memorial in Membury Hempton, she was ready to jump off. As she landed on the pavement she started to run, desperate to get home now to check her email. Please God don’t let her mum have disconnected the Internet, but this morning, when they were having a cuddle, she’d said she’d give her one more chance, and she didn’t usually go back on her word.

  As she burst into the kitchen Katie looked up from the table, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with laughter. Michelle and Laurie Forbes were there too, and there was an open photo album on the table.

  ‘Hello,’ Katie said. ‘Have a good day?’

  Molly scowled at her.

  ‘Oh, that sort of day,’ Katie responded.

  Molly continued to glare, so Katie glared back, then her mouth started to wobble, and all of a sudden everyone, except Molly, burst out laughing.

  ‘Why don’t you just grow up?’ Molly shouted, and shoving past them she dashed up the stairs.