No Child of Mine Read online

  Knowing that the day her aunt gave up her beloved horse refuge would be the day she keeled over, Alex said, ‘Seventy is the new fifty, I’m told, and anyway, you don’t look a day over forty.’ It wasn’t true, because actually her adoptive mother’s sister looked ancient, but where was the harm in saying it if it made her feel good? ‘Do you know if Gabby’s got her tickets yet?’ she asked.

  ‘I haven’t heard from her so far today, but I’m sure she has. Oh, hang on, don’t go anywhere, this might be her now and I’ll be able to tell you.’

  As she waited, Alex took a sip of wine and felt proud of herself for not minding that her sister and aunt spoke on a daily basis. Once upon a time it would have made her feel fretful and excluded, but she’d learned in recent years to have better control of her insecurities. No doubt they were still raging away somewhere in her psyche, getting themselves nicely fuelled up by the issues she had to deal with in her day job. However, not since she was a highly strung teenager had she got herself into an emotional state over not mattering as much as her sister. Their mother had always denied it, of course, saying that if she hadn’t been told she was adopted she would never have come up with such nonsense. And occasionally Alex had wondered if that might be true, but even if it were, there was no doubt in her mind that Gabby was more special to her parents simply because she was theirs.

  ‘No, not her,’ Sheila announced, coming back on the line. ‘I’ll let you go then, if you’re in a hurry. Toodle pip and all that.’

  After saying her own goodbye Alex hung up the phone, and seeing that Jason was still on his mobile she blew him a kiss through the open window and ran upstairs to take a shower. It was only when she turned it on that she remembered one of Jason’s regular plumbers had come on an emergency call out that morning to disconnect it. Heaven only knew what demon or gremlin had been at work in the system during the night, but for some reason water had started gushing out of it at six a.m. with no one turning it on, and apparently the plumber hadn’t managed to sort it yet.

  Resigning herself to a lengthy wait for the bath to fill to a mere few inches she stuck in the plug, spun the crusty old brass taps, and went back along the landing to the master bedroom to dig out some fresh clothes. This had always been her parents’ bedroom until her mother, newly widowed, had moved down to Devon to live with Sheila and be closer to Gabby and the children. The furniture was all theirs, the old-fashioned wrought-iron bedstead with its slightly bent foot rail and limp feather mattress, the his-and-hers wardrobes with the maddening system of front-to-back hanging rails, and the odd collection of walnut chests and pine cabinets. The carpet was a busy mix of red and green swirls, while the curtains were a dusky shade of gold. It would win no awards for interior design, but with its dual-aspect windows bringing in so much light Alex loved the room anyway, and Jason, who’d only lived in modern houses until he’d moved in with her a year ago, always claimed that he loved it too.

  Unfortunately his children couldn’t stand it, but since their mother had convinced them that they couldn’t stand anything to do with Alex Lake, or Mulgrove, or in fact anything outside of Kesterly-on-Sea, the nearby coastal town where they lived and Alex worked, it would have been a bit of a miracle if they’d fallen for this ramshackle rural idyll at first sight.

  ‘It’s like dead creepy,’ Tiffany, Jason’s thirteen-year-old, had murmured disgustedly before she’d even set foot in the door.

  Taking up the theme, ten-year-old Heidi had shuddered theatrically as she’d gulped, ‘It really scares me.’

  ‘Has it got ghosts?’ eight-year-old Tom had whispered, his eyes bright with the thrill of it.

  Though Alex had never felt anything in the least bit sinister about the house, she would readily admit that to some it might give the impression of containing other-worldly residents reluctant to move on. Its association with the church, which was opposite the house halfway down the hill going into the village, clearly added to its sense of mystique. But for her the only real ghouls that existed anywhere near the Vicarage were the ones inside her head – so she couldn’t actually claim they were real. However, she was certain they weren’t imagined either, because the nightmares that had troubled her ever since she was a child she knew came from the time before the rector, her adoptive father, had rescued her.

  Shaking off the thoughts before they had a chance to start darkening her mood, she ran back downstairs to find out if Jason was off the phone yet. What had happened back then was all a very long time ago, and who needed to be dealing with a twenty-five-year-old horror when she had fresh ones coming up practically every day?

  ‘At last,’ Jason declared, pocketing his mobile as she finally made it outside to greet him. ‘You’re back later than I expected,’ and scooping her into his arms he planted a bruising kiss full on her lips. ‘Mmm, that’s better,’ he murmured suggestively as he pulled back to gaze at her with his intense blue eyes. At five foot seven he didn’t tower too far over her, but at thirty-eight he was a full ten years older, and with the grizzle of grey in his wiry dark hair, and lines around his eyes, he often looked it. However, there was no getting away from the fact that he was heart-stoppingly handsome – at least to her mind he was – and not even the unsightly scar that puckered his right cheek would change her opinion on that. He’d got it in an accident as a child, which he’d told her all about the night they’d met at a party, in Kesterly, eighteen months ago. Not the traditional sort of chat-up line designed to sweep her off her feet, but she’d fallen for him anyway.

  ‘Good day?’ he asked, kissing her again.

  ‘Depends how you define good,’ she smiled. ‘How about you?’

  ‘On a scale of one to ten it’s just tipped off the top end.’

  She eyed him carefully.

  ‘I mean seeing you,’ he said with a laugh.

  ‘OK, as long as it’s not something to do with the call you just took, or I might be jealous.’

  Since she wasn’t jealous by nature he never took her quips seriously; however, on this occasion he grimaced awkwardly and turned to start packing up the mower.

  ‘So who was on the phone?’ she prompted as he carted the empty collection box over to a springy pile of cut grass.

  ‘I think you can guess,’ he replied, not turning round.

  Her heart immediately sank. ‘Gina,’ she stated, trying to keep the frustration out of her tone. No call from his estranged wife was ever a good one. ‘So what did she want?’

  Sighing, he said, ‘Apparently her car’s broken down so she wants me to drive Heidi to her dance class.’

  Taking no more than a split second to work out what that was going to mean for the evening, Alex’s eyes flashed with anger. ‘I swear she does it on purpose,’ she cried. ‘She’ll know what we had planned for tonight ...’

  ‘How would she?’

  ‘Anyone could have told her, or knowing her she’s been on the theatre’s Facebook page checking up on everything we’re doing. Jason, you can’t let us down tonight. It’s a tech run, for God’s sake.’

  ‘I know, I know, but what am I supposed to do? Heidi’s passionate about those classes and she’s due to perform at assembly on the first day of term, so I can hardly make her skip a lesson now when there’s less than a week to go.’

  ‘But she can already dance the piece perfectly.’

  ‘Says you. She doesn’t think so, and as she’s the one who’s performing ...’

  ‘So are my troupe, tonight, specially for you so you can sort out all the technical stuff for our opening night the weekend after next.’

  Looking as guilty as he felt, he said, ‘Can’t you change it to tomorrow? There ...’

  ‘No, Jason, I can’t change it to tomorrow, not at this short notice. Half the company will already be on their way, and the village hall’s not exactly at our personal disposal.’

  Not bothering to point out that she and Mattie Graves, one of her old schoolfriends, virtually ran the village hall – or theatre as it would be
tonight – he said, ‘I’m really sorry, honest to God I am, but I have to take her.’

  ‘And wait and bring her back, which means you won’t be able to get to us until nine at the earliest, by which time we’ll have finished our run-through and everyone’ll be too tired to do it again. Great. Just bloody brilliant.’

  ‘I’ll find a way to make it up to you,’ he called after her as she stormed inside.

  ‘You said that the last time,’ she shouted back. ‘And the time before that, and the time before that.’

  ‘Think how big the diamond’s getting,’ he tried to joke.

  Under any other circumstances she might have laughed – right now she was too furious even to try.

  Ten minutes later she was stepping out of the bath and reaching for a towel when her work mobile started to ring. Seeing it was Wendy, her manager who had a habit of calling out of hours with issues that could easily wait, she let it go through to messages, and wrapped her hair in a towel as she padded through to the bedroom. The sun had moved round by now and was spilling in through the front window, casting a soft crimson glow over the gaily upholstered love seat that hugged it. This was where she and Gabby as children used to sit with their father, gazing out over the church and village as he told them stories about angels and imps, trees that could talk and the miracle bird who could make all the bad things go away.

  She could do with the miracle bird now to transport the dreaded Gina to the far end of Purgatory.

  If only.

  ‘Am I allowed to come in?’ Jason called out sheepishly from the landing.

  Though Alex didn’t normally cover up in front of him, she was still too cross to want to risk arousing him with her nudity, so grabbing her robe she said, ‘It’s your room too.’

  The latch clattered as he released it and the hinges gave a faint squeal before he popped his head in, apparently still not entirely sure it was safe to enter. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, helplessly.

  Sinking down in front of the mould-spotted mirror of the dressing table, she glanced briefly at his reflection as she replied, ‘You always are, but it never changes anything, does it? She still keeps calling at the last minute with some demand or other, and you just up and jump every time she cracks the whip.’

  ‘Oh, come on, you’re not being fair. I don’t do it for her. It’s Heidi ...’

  ‘Who has two aunties and an uncle living within half a mile of her, any one of whom could easily take her.’

  ‘They’ve got kids of their own ...’

  ‘And you’ve got another commitment this evening. Just tell me this: what is the point of a tech run without a technical director?’

  Grimacing, he said, ‘I’ve been to most of the rehearsals so I’ve got a fair idea of what’s required already.’

  ‘But eight busy people are making it their business to come to our village hall this evening in order to stage a rehearsal especially for you.’

  ‘I swear, you can’t make me feel any worse than I already do. Maybe if you could delay for an hour. I might be back by then ...’

  ‘No you won’t, because as I’ve already pointed out, you’ll have to wait with Heidi while she has her lesson, and you know very well that Gina will have something else for you to do when you get back there.’

  ‘If she does then I’ll just tell her ...’

  ‘No, Jason, you won’t tell her anything, because you never do. You let her rule you through those children, and as far as I can see that’s never going to change.’

  ‘What am I supposed to do, pretend my children don’t exist?’ he cried, throwing out his hands in frustration.

  ‘Now you’re being ridiculous. All I’m asking is that you stick to your word when you give it, especially when other people are going out of their way to put on a rehearsal that you asked for.’

  Looking guiltier than ever, he pushed his hands across his face and back through his hair. ‘We talked about this before I moved in,’ he said. ‘We agreed, you understood that the kids have to come first ...’

  ‘But this isn’t about them, it’s about Gina, surely you can see that. As I said, she’s always ringing you at the last minute, using you like a handyman or a babysitter, or someone she’s still married to. And if she doesn’t ring herself she gets Tiffany or Heidi to do it for her, turning the screws even tighter, making you feel like you’re neglecting them, or that you don’t care – or even that you just upped and abandoned them, when we all know that it was their mother who broke up your marriage, not you. She’s the one who was having an affair and got you to leave your own home so she could move him in, and now he’s dumped her for someone else she’s trying to get you back ...’

  ‘But she’s not going to win ...’

  ‘Says you.’

  Taking a deep breath in an effort to calm things down, he said, ‘Look, I don’t want to fall out with you ...’

  With an incredulous laugh she cried, ‘It’s already happening, the same way it always does when you go rushing off to tend to her little emergencies. But if I continue this I’ll be playing straight into her hands, and frankly one of us doing that is enough. What time are you leaving?’

  Glancing at his watch he said, ‘I guess I ought to be on my way. What are you doing about food tonight?’

  ‘We’re going to the pub after rehearsals so I’ll hang on till then. If you’re hungry now there’s a pack of sandwiches in my work bag, which is around here somewhere. Prawn and mayo.’

  ‘Oh yippee, my favourite,’ he responded, with a wryness that made her swallow a smile. She wasn’t quite ready to forgive him yet, but nor did she want them to part bad friends, particularly when she knew what a struggle he had with not being a full-time dad. It really wasn’t his fault that his marriage had broken up, though obviously she couldn’t help feeling glad that it had, or he wouldn’t be in her life.

  ‘Looks like you’ve got a message,’ he said, pulling out her mobile as he rummaged about for the sandwiches.

  ‘It’s work,’ she said, taking it from him and quickly checking to make sure it wasn’t anything urgent. As she’d expected, it was from Wendy, reminding her that her annual CRB check was due, which could easily have waited until the morning, but hey, why wait when she could ring someone at home? Her other phone started to ring. ‘Ah, thanks,’ she said, as Jason passed it over.

  ‘Two lives, two phones,’ he teased. ‘I just hope you don’t have two lovers.’

  Catching his eye in the mirror, she narrowed her own meaningfully as she said into her personal phone, ‘Hi Mattie, everything OK for this evening?’

  As her co-producer began giving her a blow-by-blow account of everything she’d done in preparation for the rehearsal, and Jason left, Alex pulled out a drawer to look for fresh undies. When Mattie got going she generally wasn’t required to say much more than ‘great,’ ‘fantastic,’ ‘you’re amazing,’ which she was delivering in abundance as she pulled on some tatty jeans and a strappy T-shirt and pushed her feet into a pair of old ballet pumps. Having known Mattie for most of her life she was used to her friend’s obsession with detail, which, though exasperating at times, made her pretty indispensable too, because no one else Alex knew came even close to possessing Mattie’s magnificent organisational skills. And Mattie loved being involved in the theatre almost as much as she loved being Alex’s friend, though they’d never been as close as normal best friends, mainly because Mattie couldn’t cope with anything too personal.

  By the time Mattie rang off Alex was more or less ready to leave, so checking a text that had come in during the call she started down the stairs. As soon as she saw who the message was from her heart melted.

  Hello Auntie Lex, I came second in the sack race and Mummy won a goldfish on the bows and arrows which she let me have. Love Jackson.

  You’re brilliant, she quickly texted back to her sister’s mobile. What are you going to call the goldfish?

  Before a reply came through the phone started to ring, and seeing an unfamiliar number
she clicked on saying, ‘Hi, Alex Lake speaking.’

  ‘Oh, yes, Alex,’ the voice at the other end stated, as though she’d momentarily forgotten who she was calling. ‘It’s Heather Hancock here. I’ve just heard that Jason’s not going to be at the run-through tonight, so I guess it’s been cancelled.’

  ‘Actually, it hasn’t,’ Alex told her, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. How did Heather Hancock, reporter-at-large for the Kesterly Gazette, already know that Jason’s plans had changed? As if she needed to ask. Her good chum Gina had obviously been in touch for a bit of a gloat.

  ‘Nevertheless, something else has come up that I really ought to go to,’ Heather was informing her. ‘I’ll be in touch to rearrange.’

  ‘Hang on,’ Alex cried before she could ring off. ‘That will be before the opening, I take it.’

  ‘Of course, if I can fit you in.’

  Bristling, while reminding herself to try to sound friendly, Alex said, ‘The deal was you’d give us some publicity upfront if we let you come to the tech run.’

  ‘Actually, I don’t think there was a deal,’ Heather interrupted, sounding bored. ‘I just agreed to drop in on a rehearsal if I was passing and had time. Tonight was always going to be difficult, and now I know Jason’s not going to be there ...’

  ‘But he’s not in it, so what difference does it make?’

  ‘As I said, something else has come up. I expect you’ve heard about the show due to open at the Kesterly Playhouse. Obviously, something of that calibre has to take precedence, especially when one of the cast used to be in Emmerdale. The public will want to read about her.’

  Throwing the put-down straight back at the local hack, Alex said, ‘How gracious of her to spare the time to talk to a provincial paper that no one ever reads.’ She winced. As usual she’d gone too far.

  ‘If that’s what you think then there’s really not much point in me covering your little amateur production at all, is there?’ came the tart response. ‘Best go, see you around,’ and the line went dead.