Missing Read online

  ‘Don’t turn your back on Kelsey,’ Vivienne implored. ‘She’s fourteen years old …’

  ‘You’ll be a much better influence on her than I can …’

  ‘How can you say that when you don’t even know me?’

  Jacqueline’s eyes were sad yet ironic as she said, ‘Almost anyone would do a better job than I have, and if Miles trusts you, there doesn’t seem any reason for me not to.’

  ‘But you’re her mother.’

  ‘And not the kind she deserves. She needs a good role model, someone she can confide in, who takes an interest in who she is and what she does in a way I never have. Tell me you won’t do that.’

  ‘What I will or won’t do isn’t the point …’

  ‘Oh yes it is. Knowing Kelsey will be taken good care of, and not only by her father, is what’s setting us all free. Surely you realise that.’

  Afraid of how final this was starting to sound, Vivienne’s voice rang with anger as she said, ‘She doesn’t want me! She wants you. For heaven’s sake, at least speak to her on the phone, and tell her you’re all right.’

  Jacqueline only shook her head.

  ‘Please,’ Vivienne urged, fighting to keep Rufus from springing out of her arms.

  Jacqueline watched him, appearing both amused and troubled. ‘He’s getting hungry,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t keep you any longer.’

  ‘No,’ Vivienne protested, as she began walking towards the stairs. ‘I can’t let you leave here without at least knowing where you’re going.’

  Jacqueline stopped. ‘I chose to disappear,’ she said, ‘because I didn’t want to be me any more. For the past fifteen years I’ve been the woman who lost her son; who never stopped looking for him; who refused to give up the hope of finding him. I’ve been pitied, laughed at, scorned, shunned … I’ve even been accused of killing him.’ She dropped her head for a moment as though too tired to go on. Then, hooking her bag higher, she started down the stairs.

  Going after her, Vivienne said, ‘Do you still have the mobile phone you registered at my address? Can we contact you on that?’

  ‘I don’t want to be contacted.’

  ‘Then why come here?’

  When she reached the bottom Jacqueline looked up, her eyes stopping at Rufus. ‘To see you and him,’ she said simply, and leaning forward she kissed Rufus on the cheek. ‘You’re a very special little boy,’ she whispered.

  As she started to open the door Vivienne darted forward to cover her hand. ‘No!’ she cried, more determined than ever. ‘I’m not letting you go anywhere until you’ve spoken to Kelsey.’

  Jacqueline turned to her. ‘You see, you’re already looking out for her,’ she said.

  ‘Then help me. Don’t just walk out on her. Please talk to her. Tell her she matters. Every child deserves that from their mother.’

  Jacqueline’s eyes were untroubled as she said, ‘It’s good to know I’m leaving her in capable hands.’

  ‘I don’t want her,’ Vivienne insisted. ‘She’s yours. Why would I care what happens to her?’

  ‘You just do.’

  ‘You owe her, Jacqueline.’

  Jacqueline’s head went to one side.

  ‘She didn’t ask for any of this. She’s just a child, about to become a woman. You must realise how much she needs you.’

  ‘She’ll do much better—’

  ‘Stop making excuses and hiding behind your pain. You can do this, Jacqueline. You can speak to her, and at least try to explain why you find everything so hard.’

  ‘She knows.’

  ‘No, she guesses, because you’ve never talked to her about it. She needs to hear it from you, why you’re so afraid to be a mother, but that you love her anyway.’

  ‘She wouldn’t believe me …’

  ‘For God’s sake, at least try. She’s going through a terrible time and you’re the only one who can really help her. Miles does his best—’

  ‘OK, you’re right.’

  Thrown by the sudden turnaround, Vivienne gasped on the breath she’d taken, and rested her head against Rufus. ‘Does that mean …?’ she whispered, daring to hope.

  She heard Jacqueline swallow. ‘Yes, I’ll talk to her,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you,’ Vivienne breathed. ‘Not for me, for Kelsey.’

  Jacqueline’s smile was edged in sadness. ‘I hope she’ll thank you,’ she said, ‘but I don’t think she will.’

  ‘She doesn’t need to know it was my suggestion.’

  ‘No, it’s probably best she doesn’t.’

  Vivienne stood aside. ‘You can use the phone upstairs in the sitting room,’ she said. ‘It’ll be more private,’ and holding tightly to Rufus she watched Jacqueline start back up the stairs, still hardly able to believe that any of this was actually happening.

  Sounding as stunned as Vivienne had expected on being told about Jacqueline’s visit, Miles said, ‘Where is she now?’

  ‘Upstairs talking to Kelsey on the phone,’ she replied. ‘Please tell me I did the right thing in persuading her to call.’

  ‘I’m sure you did. I’ve no idea what the outcome will be, but Kelsey needs to hear her, if only to feel satisfied her mother’s really still with us.’

  Deciding not to tell him how uneasy Jacqueline had made her about that, at least not yet, Vivienne said, ‘Will you contact the police? Or shall I?’

  ‘I’ll do it, but they’ll want to speak to you – and her. Do you think you can keep her there?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She looked up at the sound of voices approaching the front gate. ‘Alice and Angus have just arrived,’ she told him, opening the door before they could ring.

  ‘Good, because if Kelsey lays into her mother the way only Kelsey can,’ Miles was saying, ‘there’s no knowing what kind of state she might be in after. Incidentally, do you realise it’s Jacqueline’s birthday today?’

  Vivienne’s heart contracted. ‘How could I have forgotten?’ she murmured, knowing it was because so much else was going on, but nevertheless … ‘That means it’s Sam’s sixteenth. Do you think it’s connected to why she came here?’

  ‘I’ve no idea. I gave up trying to work out what’s in her head a long time ago.’

  After handing Rufus to Angus, she pointed him and Alice through to the kitchen, saying to Miles, ‘Where are you now?’

  ‘The London side of Reading. I spoke to Theo a few minutes ago, he’s still with Kelsey, so if you can keep Jacqueline there for another half an hour I’ll come straight to you.’

  ‘I’ll try.’

  ‘If she insists on leaving, at least get her to tell you where she’s going.’

  ‘I’ll do my best. Is it a good idea to let her know you’re on your way, or will that …’

  ‘No, don’t mention it. You say she seemed calm, but we’ve no idea how long that will last, or how it might change, and knowing I’m about to arrive might trigger something you won’t want to deal with.’

  Unsettled by the warning, she said, ‘I’ll leave you to contact the police now, and unless you hear from me again to say she’s left, I’ll see you in half an hour.’

  At that Alice turned round, a picture of astonishment.

  Vivienne held up a hand to stop her and put a finger to her lips. ‘Jacqueline’s up there,’ she whispered, pointing to the ceiling as she clicked off the phone.

  Alice’s jaw dropped as she gave a slow blink, while Angus stopped cuddling Rufus to stare at her.

  With an apologetic grimace Vivienne said, ‘I’m afraid the explanation will have to wait, in case she comes down.’

  ‘But what’s she doing up there?’ Alice demanded under her breath.

  ‘Phoning Kelsey.’

  This time Alice turned to Angus, as though expecting him to step into the breach, but he appeared equally bereft of words.

  ‘Coffee?’ Vivienne offered. ‘I’ll make some fresh.’

  Alice sank down at the dining table. ‘How long’s she been here?’ she asked, keeping her v
oice low.

  ‘Half an hour or so.’

  Alice glanced at Angus again, still not quite able to take it in. ‘So where’s she been all this time?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m still not sure exactly.’

  ‘Is she all right? I mean, stable?’

  ‘She seems it. At the moment, anyway. Miles is on his way. He left Devon early, because Kelsey’s in Kensington … Ah, that could be the police,’ she said as her mobile started to ring.

  ‘Ms Kane? It’s DI Sadler,’ the voice at the other end told her. ‘Mr Avery’s just informed me that his wife is with you.’

  ‘That’s right, Inspector. She’s still speaking to her daughter at the moment. Can I ask her to ring you back?’

  ‘I’d be more obliged if you could keep her there,’ he retorted dryly. ‘We’re contacting the police in Richmond to let them know where she is. Do you have any idea yet where she’s been all this time?’

  ‘Not really, but I think mainly around this area.’

  ‘Is she all right?’

  ‘She seems to be, but I’ve only met her once before, so I don’t have much to go on. Certainly she doesn’t seem very like the woman I’ve heard so much about. She was very gentle with my son, and there’s been nothing aggressive in her manner—’ She glanced up at a noise on the stairs, and seeing Jacqueline coming she was about to say she’d pass him over when she realised it might not be a good thing for Jacqueline to know the police were on their way. So putting a formal note into her voice she said to Sadler, ‘Thank you for your call. If you text me your number that would be very helpful,’ and ringing off without saying goodbye she gave Jacqueline a smile of reassurance as she reached the foot of the stairs, and beckoned her into the kitchen.

  ‘How did it go?’ she asked, the bizarreness of the situation making her slightly light-headed as Jacqueline came towards her, carrying the wig in one hand and her bag in the other.

  Jacqueline was about to answer when she spotted Angus and Alice. ‘I’m sorry, I’m intruding,’ she said, taking a step back.

  ‘Not at all,’ Vivienne assured her. ‘Let me introduce you. Alice and Angus Jackson, this is Jacqueline Avery.’

  Angus came forward to shake Jacqueline’s hand, while Alice remained utterly flummoxed. ‘Pleased to meet you,’ Angus said, still holding onto Rufus.

  ‘Thank you,’ Jacqueline replied, and smiled as Rufus made a lunge towards her.

  ‘I’m making coffee,’ Vivienne told her. ‘Will you have some?’

  ‘Actually,’ Jacqueline replied, ‘I’ve just told Kelsey I’ll go over there.’

  Amazed – and then alarmed, considering what had happened the last time Jacqueline staged a reappearance in Kelsey’s life – Vivienne blurted, ‘Are you sure? I mean …’

  Jacqueline nodded. ‘I’ve said I will, so I think I should.’

  ‘Why not have a drink, or some lunch before you go?’

  ‘No thanks. I’m not hungry and I should leave you to your friends.’

  ‘Oh, we don’t mind if you stay,’ Vivienne told her hurriedly, knowing she was making a complete mess of this. ‘And I have plenty of food in.’ Thank God she couldn’t see the empty fridge.

  ‘No, really. I’d rather be going,’ Jacqueline said quietly. ‘It’s a long walk to the tube—’

  ‘Then let me drive you,’ Vivienne jumped in.

  Alice was staring at her as if she’d gone mad.

  ‘You don’t need to,’ Jacqueline replied. ‘I enjoy walking.’

  ‘No, I insist,’ Vivienne said, earning herself another bemused blink from Alice. ‘My friends will stay with Rufus, won’t you?’

  It was left to Angus to assure her they would.

  ‘You just have to heat up his bottle,’ Vivienne told them, reaching for her keys, ‘and help yourselves to anything else. You know where everything is. Oh, you’ll need to give him his lunch, so I should write down what he has,’ and quickly pulling a Post-it towards her, she scribbled the words Call Miles on his mobile, before turning back to Jacqueline and saying, ‘Are you ready?’

  Appearing slightly dazed, Jacqueline nodded, and after an awkward glance at Alice she went to give Rufus a kiss before following Vivienne out to the car.

  Chapter Twenty

  ‘HOW LONG AGO did they leave?’ Miles asked Alice when she got through to him.

  ‘About ten minutes,’ she replied. ‘I’ve been trying to reach you, but kept going straight to voicemail.’

  ‘I must have been in a down area. If you can, call Vivienne and tell her to take the long route via Cromwell Road. It’ll give me a chance to get there first.’

  ‘Where are you now?’

  ‘Just coming off the Chiswick flyover, so probably not too far behind. I’ll call Theo now and ask him not to leave should Jacqueline show up before I do.’

  ‘Theo?’ Alice repeated blankly.

  ‘He’s with Kelsey.’

  Alice had no words.

  Accelerating hard through a set of amber lights, Miles said, ‘Is Rufus OK?’

  ‘He’s fine,’ she assured him, her eyes softening as she turned to look at him. ‘Angus is giving him some milk, which he’s making a lot of noise about. I mean Rufus, not my husband. Is there anything else we can do?’

  ‘I don’t think so. Just try to speak to Vivienne without alerting Jacqueline.’

  After disconnecting, Miles sped on towards a set of red lights, and coming to an abrupt halt began searching for Theo’s number. ‘Is Kelsey in earshot?’ he asked when Theo answered.

  ‘Yes,’ came the reply.

  ‘She’s told you her mother’s on the way?’

  ‘She has.’

  ‘OK. I should be there in the next five to ten minutes, hopefully before Jacqueline, but just in case, please, whatever you do, don’t leave Kelsey alone with her.’

  ‘No problem.’

  ‘Is Kelsey all right?’

  ‘Seems it.’

  ‘I really owe you for this.’

  ‘It’s cool.’

  After ringing off Miles sped away from the lights, swallowing the next stretch of road in a matter of seconds, before veering off towards the Hammersmith roundabout. Barring accidents, breakdowns or demonstrations, there was a good chance he’d arrive at the house before Vivienne – provided she’d taken the long route – but he wasn’t going to relax, or even take much notice of red lights, until he was in through the door, with Kelsey under his protection.

  ‘I’ve already done it,’ Vivienne was saying in response to Alice’s message from Miles.

  ‘So you’re taking the long way round?’ Alice said, needing to be certain.

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Good. Now, you’d better tell me what to give Rufus for dessert to make this seem about him.’

  Aware of Jacqueline’s quiet presence beside her, Vivienne said, ‘He can have one of the apricot crumbles. They’re in the cupboard next to the fridge.’

  ‘Great. Now remember, take it nice and slow, and call me as soon as you can.’

  After disconnecting via her earpiece, Vivienne cast a quick glance at Jacqueline before turning off the Cromwell Road to start heading up Marloes Road towards Kensington High Street. ‘I think the other way might have been quicker,’ she said, ‘but we’re not far. How are you feeling?’

  Jacqueline nodded distractedly and continued to stare out at the crowded arrangement of town houses they were passing.

  ‘Would you like me to wait while you go in?’ Vivienne offered. ‘I can always drive you back to where you’re staying.’

  It was a while before Jacqueline responded. When she did it seemed she hadn’t heard the question. ‘I remember when Miles and I first moved here,’ she said still watching the elegant houses with their varying facades and gardens given over to parking. ‘I really didn’t want to come. Richmond was Sam’s home, so we needed to stay there until he came back. That’s what I used to tell myself,’ she added in a whisper. Then, in a stronger voice, ‘It was an awful day when they c
arried me out of that house. They had to drug me.’ She looked down at the wig bunched in her hands. ‘It must have been terrible for Miles,’ she said quietly. ‘Actually, I knew it was, but I couldn’t help myself. Moving house was like giving up hope.’ She swallowed and took a small gasp of air. ‘He’s sixteen today,’ she said, twisting the wiry hair around her fingers.

  Vivienne could only feel the wretchedness of having no words to offer, either of comfort or any real understanding.

  Jacqueline sat staring blankly at the wig, until finally she said, ‘I wonder what you’ll be doing on Rufus’s sixteenth. Do you ever imagine how you might celebrate? Whether it’ll be at home, or in a restaurant, or perhaps he’d prefer to be off with his friends? I don’t expect you ever consider that he might not be there any more.’ She sighed raggedly. ‘It’s not the kind of thing you plan for, is it? Only destiny, or fate, or God, makes those kinds of plans and you know nothing about it until it’s happened, and by then it’s too late.’

  Vivienne swallowed as she glanced over at her.

  ‘Did you know that some people doubt that Sam was even with me that day?’ Jacqueline said. ‘They think I, or Miles, did something to him …’ Her voice faltered as her fingers tightened on the wig. ‘It’s extraordinary, the things people think, even those that know you. Everyone has their suspicions. Friends of years standing start looking at you differently, or trying to avoid you, or …’ She took a breath in an effort to steady her voice. ‘Has Miles ever told you about a woman called Elizabeth Barrett?’

  Vivienne shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. Who is she?’

  Jacqueline’s head came up and she sucked in her lips as though forcing back more words. Then, looking around at where they were she said, ‘We’re almost there. I wonder if Kelsey’s as nervous as I am.’

  ‘Dad!’ Kelsey cried, coming out of the kitchen as he let himself in the front door. ‘You got here fast.’ Her eyes were shining. ‘You’ll never guess who’s here.’

  ‘Theo Kenwood-South – and Mum’s on her way,’ he replied, dropping his keys on the hall table.

  Kelsey’s jaw dropped. Then, pushing past her surprise that he knew this, she protested, ‘She might not come in if she knows you’re here.’